Chained by religious beliefs, by traditions, by man's domination and expectations, by what they call it "shame", by the fear of being abandoned, by the cultural pressure, by social responsibilities, by committment to my parents and my children. I am just being chained allover from my birth to my death. What kind of freedom I can fight for?
18 comments:
its a big problem in the arabic world that they think the women has no rights
she is like a servant put without paying for her
they forget that Islam gave her many rights & respected her so much
hope one day this strange un accepted thing would change
That is very true Emy. sad to say
slam alikm
sad but true
So expressive and so impressive. That is exactly the state of being a woman. So disapponting to the self. Heba
what a woman should fight for... her humanity of course
with all those chains there is still a hope, few started to say no... maybe we still have chains around our neck... but our voices still loud and clear
Miss Egyptiana. Do you wanna say NO? How many of those things you can say NO to, the religious beliefs, or traditions, or man's domination and expectations, or what they call it "shame" about you, or the fear of being abandoned, or the cultural pressure, or your social responsibilities as a woman, or your committment as a daughter and as a mother???? YOU TELL ME
You Doc has identied the woman in general in a typical way. You gave the best definition of the state of being a woman anywhere, anytime ans at any age. Wonderful post. Really wonderful. I bend over in respect to the man inside you who discovered and felt the things you wrote.
We as women can not change the nature or the environment around us. WE JUST NEED SOMEBODY TO APPRECIATE IT. Any man is here? any man is listening? We fight to make somebody just appreciate what we are, that is all.Thank you if you do.
Heba Ahmad, Dokki, Cairo
i already said NO to some, and i am working on others
i already said no to:
- the religious beliefs, as i dont follow anything told, but what my mind accept, and i have declared that i follow only god, and the good in his religions no matter what it is
- traditions, and the freaky elders rules, that is why i am considered a freak within my society... but better be a freak than one in a herd
- the cultural pressure, i am developing my own culture... and follow my own principals and rules in life
i am working on saying NO to:
- man's domination and expectations, by fighting for my humanity and try to change the look of just a woman into a human being... i write a lot, and explain my point of view and that is a start
- what they call it "shame" about me, i am turning it into pride
- the fear of being abandoned, that is the hardest one, and i am trying to detoxify myself through letting go my past and look for tom.
things i will never say NO to
- my social responsibilities as a woman, or your committment as a daughter and as a mother???? they are what makes me human ... al tara7om we al mawada we al ma7aba ... they are not done by just a smile, but by taking responsibility toward our beloved ones
i am not totally free, but one day i will be ...
ps: i have a post about that, which i will publish this week, and i hope in addition to my comment, it makes my point of view clear
just a little comment on Heba ahmed
waiting for men to appreciate us is a lousy strategy, cause they will never do
we can change our environment by imposing our existence as humans, and that will never ever happen as long as we dont have respect to our ownselves, and the fact that we are femals
beleive in yourself... others will beleive in you
Miss Egyptiana, Thank you for considering a dialogue with me here in the Doctor's blog. I really respect your attitude, strategy and future plan but here is the point. I dont have any problem with me being a classic natrual, maybe old fashion submissive woman. I dont have any problem with most of the people around me. I dont have any problem with my man who is still my boy friend. He is the man, he is a good leadership and I really enjoy his supremacy. My only problem in life is that whatever I do NO ONE EVER appreciate it. Can you teach everybody to say" Thank you Heba, that is nice of you" or " I really appreciate what you do to me"? Heba Ahmad
Miss Egyptiana. What you said is really great if that is really what you do. That makes me respect you more than I do. You got to tell us how could you do this in Egypt. at work. in the college, at home, etc..? How could you deal with the people around you? How do you deal this way with your man if you have any? Maybe your strategy and technique would be an examples for other women to follow. I am not patronizing you, I am serious.
Heba Ahmad. Oh my lady, your kind is really rare today if not already vanished. It is a grace that you are the flexible party cause that makes your life easy. I wish I find the woman who sees in me what you see in your man. I wish if I can hear from him what he says about you too. If the relation is not based on that kind of strong admiration then better not have a relation. Regarding your problem. I agree that many men feel it but just dont know how to say it. Tell him you feeling, that is not bad. Tell him( if you tell me"Heba I feel what you do to me" I will do it again. If I dont feel you appreciate it then I will naturally stop) I am sure that will give him a jump. Believe me, I lot of good men just need a little kick to move
ok i need to read the comments well, for i don't wanna another coffee... one is enough :)
Dear He and she
replying to your questions is too long to be added here... so i will write it all and post it in my blog (egyptian today) if you allow me, and just add the link so people reading your post would refer to it if they wanna.
Dear Heba
it is good to be what you are comfortable with... and i am glad you know exactly what you wanna be (a classic old fashioned submisive woman)... but actually i believe in partnership... and equality in terms of sharing matters of life, and opinions.
i think you are either a lonely child, or the youngest among your sister and brothers !!! why i think so ... maybe cause i felt that you are too sweet to do things alone, and need someone to take care of you ... sometimes we are too vulnerable to face reality alone
and for the matter of appreciation ... i agree with He and She that you need to talk about it with you man .... but of course don't use his words :) you cant say it that way, but in gentler way, especially if you are an old fashioned submissive woman... and by the way such an issue has to be resolved as soon as possible, else you would suffer in the future ...
i think old fashioned submissive women tend to face such problems ... cause their men superiority gave them the feeling that this is the normal thing to do... so no thanks needed... or sometimes they tend to thank you in a different way like a smile, and that goes with the case of those who cannot express their feelings and hardly can let their emotions out
hope things go well with you dear :) and wish you luck
He and She comment on Heba
yeh true, it is hard to find old fashioned women these days ... maybe that is why they call them old fashioned :)
but i believe a part of it depend on how the woman is treated and how secure she feels with her man!!
mutual admiration and appreciation is a corner stone in any relation, ... it exists if the two parties are compatible ... and the choice was based on deep understanding and acceptance ...
thanks for the space and waiting for more of your good posts
Miss Egy, you kick hard and play tough. I like that. They say that here in NY to tell how competing you are. or you are not an easy meat.
Anyway. what do you wanna take from my blog? I didnt know clearly
Dear He and She
i will consider that as a compliment :)
Miss Egy. It is a complement for sure, can't you tell
for sure dear... that is why i called it a compliment :)
E7m..E7m.. He&she and Miss egyptiana, can I come in?
Miss Egyptiana. You tried to sugar coat your comment but I immidiately tasted the bitterness under the sugar. I will not go into argument with you guys nor I will let anybody make me an object to analyse and explore. bottom line is WE ARE SO HAPPY COUPLE. Now enough is enough, please exclude me from that discussion. Heba Ahmad
Dear Heba
if you have noticed i said i am glad you know what you wanna be...
besides you were not a subject for discussion, the main subject is how to break the chain :) ... THE POINT HERE is that you asked a question, and we tried to answer that is all
god bless you and your man ... have a good day
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