I posted this as a comment one day in somebody's blog. When I read it the next day I like it even more so I decided to publish it as a post in my own blog
First of all I am a scientific man. I believe in facts that the sciences bring to us to make us understand our lives. Whatever you name it. Psychology, physiology, sociology, human behavior, sexology, biochemistry etc...By nature the man sees first. The man is a very visual creature. It is absurd to argue about that and if we gonna argue about scientific facts then we better stop to save out time. Yes he will first check you out whether you agreed, accepted or not. Just like butterflies roaming around a bunch of flowers. Then what he sees in you will react to the inside of him. Is your look chemically compatible with him or not. I am not looking at every woman I see I look at the one who clicks with the criteria of the man inside me. You also are not looked at by all men even if you are Venus. Some men will not be resposive to your appeal. So far, you dont have any option. This is life and natural laws. Then as the nature dictates, the man approach the woman, so he will approach you someway depends on the circumstances. Sometimes I have to speak with a woman I saw in a funeral because I know if I dont I lost the chance forever. Sometimes I just change my mind once I speak with her. Then comes your responce to his approach. Is he the type of man you like ? Remember also that women are moody by nature, so, did he approach you in the right time for you where the flower inside you is receptive to an approach? Then comes the final step that turns the whole process from an adventure to a solid relation that lasts. This last step is exclusively your job. The step of you convincing him of your personality, the human side of you, your soul, the richness of your character that took you years to built, your attitude, values, education, etc.. All the things that turn your image from an exclusive female into a woman,a wife, a mother and a life partner. You just can't ask a man not to consider your look but just get to know you. It is like a man asking a woman to sleep with her first before he knows her. things that are not logic because it does not follow the laws of nature. Even those who feel for one another through a messenger chat or blogger or even on the phone. She might honestly feel for him but he will always be at the edge until he sees her. Nothing is better than knowing what is naturally there on the other side before you step into a relation.
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12 comments:
there is a difference between liking a woman, introduce yourself properly, be nice with a gentelman attitude
and harrasing a woman in the street
there is a difference between considering the look of a woman as essential thing to start a relationship
and consider the look as a complimentary element...which suit your ideas in the transplant post
maybe i am idealistic and dreamy... but at least i am keeping my soul clean.
Egyptiana. we both reached the dead end in this issue. We speak different logic language. We can talk forever and never communicate. I mean in this specific subject. All I can say now is that I am dead sure that you will recall every word I wrote when you get married and you live with a man few months. You will say to yourself " you know what Eggy, that guy He&SHE was right".Now you are totally unaware of many real-life facts. If you are already married then that is a real disaster.
:) why you always hint that i live in another world??
but anyway, thanks for the tip.
simply because of what you said in your two successive posts. Momken net3arraf & a7ssat enni 3areih. That was the trigger to me cause I felt you do not live the Egyptian street life. See. i hate hypocrisy. in your blog I didnt feel shy or ashamed or embarassed to say that we used to " harass girls" as you call it but it is not. it is the natural boys attitude in Egypt to push like what the man did with you, because girls in Egypt are too shy and we were not mob we were medical students and later Doctors. That was the natural life there until I left on 99. Unless boys became so polite after I left. I dont want to repeat myself please. You are like trying to tell me that there is no dust in Egypt while I smelled that dust for years. What do you need me to think, of course you look to me like you are from another Country than Egypt that I lived in all my life
i actually live in cairo all my life...
i agree that harrasment is boys attittude everywhere ... and it was always here in egypt ... but it has increased to awful rates lately ... much more than it was
still not because it was normal life as you describe it, this means it is good ... it is a non ethical attitude and i dont think anyone can deny that
anyway .... i think we both have clarified our points of views, and reached a dead end as u decribe it... mainly cause of the gender difference ... i look from a woman's point of view ... and u look from a man's point of view ... so we will never intersect at one solid opinion
thanks for the discussion dear, and have a good day
My God, this is one of the sickest things I've ever read. When I read it among the comments at Egyptiana's blog, I just overlooked it. But it seems your admiration of this "theory" really needs someone to tell you when to feel for the breaks.
You know why you can never get yourself to understand what Egyptiana is saying? Cause you're a man, like all other men. You don't see anything beyond that, even if you pretend anything else. You like your socially superior position. You enjoy being the hunter among the butterflies. You rest upon a heap of bogus theories that put your mind at ease, so that you are not forced to look into yourself and face your reality.
So, you take something like "Men are visual animals" and you are so happy with it. And you just stick it in our faces. Hey, it's scientific. Hey, it's a fact. Hey, deal with it. You don't even take the effort of understanding what this "scientific discovery" actually means. It is a way of explaining sexual responses and the differences between genders during the process of sexual arousal. What does this have to do with what the girl was talking about for God's sake? You are only proving that she was sexually harassed that's all. That a man, suddenly decided that he would get visual in order to make her the object of his arousal.
Men being visual, Mr., doesn't mean that they go out checking all females out until they they find one who appeals to them in order to start a relation. Welcome to the human world, where those rules don't apply.
And then your most hilarious phrase: "This last step is exclusively your job. The step of you convincing him of your personality, the human side of you, your soul, the richness of your character that took you years to built, your attitude, values, education, etc.."
Oh, yeah.. I'll take it from here. Thank you so much. You've travelled half the road from checking up by body to deciding to hook up with me. Then I must respond to "convince you" that I'm worth it. That's really sick. I have to go to the loom.
Oh Geeeeeeeeeeee. Here you go again pushing my button.
No no no. it is not because of gender or sex difference. it is because of mentality difference. social orientation difference. It is difference in the moral code. You are living in your own eutopia and I am a practical layman. I met so many women who are so socially aware of the real life and about what they normally expect in the Egyptian daily life. It is obvious that you havent been exposed to enough experiences as you should and that makes you so fragile. You imagine people strip you of you clothes and you collapsed from just a single push from a man in the street. The guy did not grab you boobs or fingered your butt and run. He just said " Can we know each others?" so simple, maybe little blunt. You made it a big bubble of sexual harassment. True or not??
I might be one of very few who said the truth among many hypocritical who tired to show off their false idealism
Well ( Fantasia ) I never know you before. I was not really happy with the quality comment you posted here. It seemed to me that you did not read my top banner or maybe you couldn't because you was not wearing your glasses. I know it is little blurry for some people. A comment like this might be expected if you post it there where you initially got sick but not here. Here the owner put the rules and my rules are written on top.I didnt know you before, means that I didnt care to click on your name when I read your comments somewhere which means that you was not interesting to me at any one moment. But now you came here to spit those words and show off that attitude so I got to know who you are. I was forced unwillingly to visit your blog and guess what I found, a typical fiminist. Do you know what fiminists are equivelant too? to terrorists. to fascist, to communists. Those people who have issues. it is just a different type of extremism. If you have some issues with the anatomy you was born with then this is not my problem. Go solve your problems your own way or stay with it, at least stay away from here. This place is just a regular social cafe for average and nice people. I dont welcome any kind of extremism. You will not be served if you come again.
Fantasia. I am sorry but you started bitching from the first line of your comment to the last line. I see that too much for somebody visiting somebody for the first time, if this is really you first time. That is unexplained aggression. Heba Ahmad
When you see a woman crowing like a cock then most probably she was raised in house where there was no cock
He and She
Didnt we say we reached a dead end?
why you argue then!!
you are trying to convince me that harrasment is normal and i have to accept it as a part of real life, and i am still saying it is non ethical
you dont know what happened, so you cant judge... and above all you dont know meme and ... you know what it is a dead end
try to be less newyorker and more human
and by the way feminist does mean support female rights to be treated as humans and not an object under control of a bunch of short sighed men
comment on HEBA
the story started at my blog heba ... and unless you have a certain opinion about the subject say it, but dont comment on people ... we are here to comment on IDEAS.... NOT PEOPLE
Comment on Anonymous
and what you call those cowards who fear to show their names, and stand for a discussion...
final word for He and She
it is getting ugly here, just wish you try to accept the others opinion, and be more civilized in your discussions... using chocking words sometimes give real bad impressions
have a good day new-yorker
I left those comments for a week. reading them on a daily base then I felt that I should leave everything as is. I am not gonna defend anybody who came here to show off rude attitude against the blog rules. I will leave it to the visitors to judge
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