Wednesday, November 21, 2007
That is He and that is She
The man looks for the woman as he look for a car. He want it smooth, shiny, bright, no dimples or scratches, turns on from the first touch, easily turn right and left when he wants, high speed, good suspension to absorb the shocks. The woman look in the man for an opposing image. She looks at him like a train. She asks herself first. Is he stable? on a steady forward rails? straight? Is he spacious to accomodate her future kids? and most probably her mom too? and possibly all her family too? Is he local that stops in every small station, or express that stops only on big cities or non stop express that go directly to her dreams. She doesn't care if the surface has dimples or scratches. She doesn't want him to turn right or left. She wants him heading straight to her dream. That is the nature as God created it. However unfortunately these days the image got inverted. Men are trimming their eyebrows and women are burying their youth and beauty between the books to have a PhD.
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7 comments:
:)
So, that's why unshiny women don't have the right to be looked for. And that's why they should better direct their energy to something more controllable and more rewarding.
No matter how much feelings and wishes I have, there is no specific plan of self-development I can follow get a man to like me if I don't look good enough, slim enough, hot enough, blond enough, brunette enough or even black enough (according to his taste). But there is definitely a specific plan I can follow to get myself a scientific degree and sometimes a good job, good salary, and ultimately a good car.
It is really a sad fact. I don't blame men for not wanting mediocre women. But I cannot blame unwanted women for invading fields were they would end up so much wanted in a different way. And of course if a hall of 1000 audience would listen to a mediocre woman, stunning ones are bound to consider how to get such audience instead of the one prince charming they could get at early stages of life. And we end up with stunning and mediocre women all doing the same more controllable thing.
And man thinks they've carved wrinkles under their eyes by reading too much for a PhD when they could have focused on skin care products to keep their faces soft enough for kissing.
It's not anybody's fault.
It's just destiny.
And tell you what. The unshiny dimpled and scratched woman wants the same things man wants to give to the shiny one :)
A woman, your comment amazed me in two ways. One because you acknowledge a reality and the second because you are a lady. I read your wonderful comment many many times. However I have two points to say. First, When I just immigrated to USa a wise person gave me a golden advice. He said that This Country is judging by the race and the color of your skin no matter what. If you are not white then you have to be twice good to survive. If a white man scored %70 then I have to score %98 to take the chance from him or get the job etc..I have to be a lot smarter and smoother and patient and nicer and descent and highly educated and I cant leave work an hour early like him and I can't come late like him and... and... and. Simply because I am not European white. Isn't it challenging and frustrating? I always think of that and consider myself not a pretty women among beauty models and I need to survive.That gives me some indurance
Second point ( I dont know how old are you and how you would get out of my words) is that every woman as she grows she discover what things can increase her score. What things she has to accept to do unlike the others to survive in the man market. what things she has to give unlike the others to increase her score. what things she has to show unlike the others to attract the eyes of her target simply because she was born not pretty. Same as I do because I was not born a Western man. Also same efforts sacrifices and frustration the seller does to have a cutomers that buy his unselling goods. Everyone has to deal with his reality and do ANYTHING to survive and he/she has the excuse
مش عارفة ابتدي الرد من اي نقطة
من الرد المذهل للأخت a_woman
الحقيقة انك عبرتي عما أود قوله ببلاغة اغبطك عليها
ووضعت يدك على جروح كثيرة تعذبنا نحن النساء في مجتمع لايرحم المرأة في اي وضع هي فيه
فهو يضيق عليها الخناق ويحاصرها بقيود لااول لها ولا آخر ويطلب منها مع ذلك ان تكون إذا تزوجت خبيرة بفن معاملة الرجال رغم انه يحظر عليها او يضيق عليها ويحاسبها على كل صغيرة وكبيرة فيما يتعلق بعلاقتها بالجنس الآخر.
ويطلب منها كذلك ان تكون صبورة واسعة الصدر مرحة طول الوقت متقبلة لكل نقد ومستعدة للتضحية بكل شيئ من اجل البيت والزوج والاولاد
واذا لم تنجح علاقتها الزوجية حملت اللوم كله واعتبرها المجتمع السبب الوحيد او الرئيسي في فشل العلاقة
واذا لم يحدث ذلك ولم تنجب لاحقتها الاسئلة والمضايقات
واذا انجبت بنات كذلك كانت مصيبتها كبيرة لانها لم تنجب بنين
وهكذا
فالمرأة دائما متهمة
ودائما في وضع دفاع عن النفس
ودائما ودائما
وفي كل الاحوال الرجل يريد إمرأة كاملة الاوصاف
وفي نفس الوقت يطلب منها ان تتغاضى عن عدم كماله
صحيح ان المرأة لاتنشد رجل كامل الاوصاف البدنية والشكلية ولكنها تبحث عن مواصفات اخرى تختلف عن الرجل
ولكن هناك مايزعج الرجل جدا في المرأة ويجعله يبتعد عنها حتى لو كانت رائعة الجمال
هذا الامر هو ذكائها
فالرجل يقلق جدا من المرأة الذكية ولا يرتاح في حضرتها
والكثير من الرجال يسعدهم التعامل مع امرأة بمواصفات معينة ليظهر تفوقهم بجوارها كأن تكون محدودة الذكاء او ذكية ولكن تستخدم ذكاءها بدهاء الانثى فتتظاهر بالغباء الذي يسعد سي السيد ويجعل له الغلبة والسيطرة.
أما تعليم المرأة فهو مصيبة أخرى تضاف لمصائب نفور الرجل او المجتمع الذكوري منها.
فالمجتمع قد يشجع المرأة على التعلم وتحصيل العلم ولكن بقدر لو تجاوزته صارت مارقة وخارجة على قوانين هذا المجتمع الذكوري الذي يعاقب المرأة المتفوقة علمياً بالعنوسة وينبذها حتى تكون عبرة لغيرها من بنات جنسها إذا فكرن بالتفوق مثلها فسيعرفن ماينتظرهن من مصير موحش ونبذ ووصم بالعنوسة تارة وبالاسترجال تارات كثيرة
الحقيقة ان الحصول على شهادات عليا اسهل بكثير من اللهاث وراء رجل او محاولة ارضاء رجل
لان رضاه غاية صعبة المنال
فهو يميل لمحدودة الذكاء ثم سرعان مايزهد فيها لاهثاً وراء المثقفة اللبقة المتحدثة مذكراً صاحبتنا اياها بأنه ضحى كثيراً بزواجه منها وهي المحدودة الذكاء والضحلة التفكير وينسى ان هذه الصفات كانت من عوامل رجحان كفتها في ميزان قلبه من قبل.
وهكذا يجد الرجل العديد والعديد من المبررات اذا اراد ان يترك مافي يده وينظر لغيره
دائما المرأة هي الملومة وهي المقصرة وهي التي كان بوسعها فعل كذا وكيت ولكنها تقاعست لان النساء بطبعهن كسولات لايقدرن تضحيات الرجال العظيمة وتنازلهن بالاقتران بمن هن مثلها
وهكذا
ماهو الحل لهكذا معضلة ؟؟
لااعرف الحقيقة
I didn't understand exactly why you find it surprising that I "acknowledge a reality and ... because [I am] a lady."
Did you think that a lady would tend not to face facts? :)
I would also like to say few things to Bella. When I wrote my reply I was not at all complaining that women are oppressed and convicted by society of every guilt no matter what they did.
No. I do not feel I am facing any prejudice because I am a woman. It seems this part of the society has not actually got me. I thank God had somehow good education in a "girls" school and "almost all-girls" college and moved from one good job to a better one. And I never felt oppressed for being a woman.
And my whole reply wasn't by any means related to women oppression.
And even the complaint about tightening the screw around girls and then asking women to learn arts of prostitution for their husbands never occurred to me.
I just wanted to explain that escaping from failure in men's world to success in the academic and business field was the only sane and mature action lucky unwanted women could take... unwanted women who eventually had the stunnings follow them.
And tell you something. It sometimes happens unintentionally.
Sometimes you are surprised to find yourself a successful career single woman when you have wanted to be a no-career beloved housewife.
I can talk pages about this... but got work to do now.
See you later
a_woman
مرحبا بك
انا لم اقل ان ردك او كلامك يتحدث عن المرأة المقهورة او ماشابه
انا قلت انك عبرت عما أردت قوله وبألفاظ وتعبيرات جميلة
وباقي تعليقي كلامي انا ولم اقم بترجمة كلامك اصلا
what do you have against women with degrees?!!!
why you associate them with lack of: beauty, and stability in their personal life ???
you always do so, as if a beautiful woman shouldnt be ambitious... and should be cornered in one task - that is satisfy the man emotionally and sexually -
i agree with bella in what she said, and i think that a phd degree is more stable than a man... i do mean it.. el regala matedemensh... once they take hold of a woman, they will start bullying her with their financial superiority
it is also a fact of life, wala u acknowledge only the facts that you like :)
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