Sunday, September 30, 2007

اعترافات مثيرة لقاتل زوجته بالبحيرة:

أوثقت زوجتي بالحبال وصعقتها بالكهرباء لخروجها بدون إذني
Don't ever marry a man who is smaller than you, younger than you or poorer than you then you insult or humiliate or disobey him and the expected result would be as bad.

Can you believe...in the United States...in the City of San Diego...A man... Steals a Military Tank!!!

Showayyet Tarawa-7... STUNNING

Meen de ya gama3ah. Anybody knows?

Together We Are Strong


A song that will never ever die as long as there is HE and SHE
Who knows who are those singers?

Saturday, September 29, 2007

Crazy Funny


How to be nice and how to be rude. It is so simple but many do not care

Rude: -You are Wrong
Nice: -I don’t think so
-I have another opinion
-What if…
Rude: -You lie
Nice: -I don’t think so
-I my opinion what you say is not true
-Are you sure? that doesn’t match what I know
Rude: -Shut up. Stop talking
Nice: -Relax, let us hear somebody else
-Wait please. I need to tell you what I think
-I guess what you already said is pretty enough
Rude: -Come here
Nice: -Would you please come
-When you a chance please come
-I wonder if you can come now
Rude: -Stop
Nice: -That is enough please
-Do you mind to stop it right now please
Rude: -I hate that
Nice : -I don’t really like it
-It is not my style
Rude: -I will never do it
Nice: -I am sorry. I don’t feel comfortable doing that
-I don’t think I would be able to do that

Sit with yourself. See how many other words that you might need to say in your daily life and how can you say it in a nicer way. Remember, people feel it though they might not talk about it with you. Isn’t it nice that you are known to be a smooth talker. Wouldn’t that increase the people who loves you and respect you?

Thursday, September 27, 2007

A bright professional career HE married to an equally bright professional career SHE. Same age, academic achievement and income. See what happened

She: Hi, how was your day
He: Same, how was yours
She: Well. I am overwhelmed. All the responsibilities on me since I am the chief of the department. All the lazy men there don’t want to move there butt and do the work the way I want. Everyday I report one of them. What happened is...... then I did......After that, I did...........
He: Are you done?
She: Done of what?
He: Talking about your work and responsibilities and how great you are
She: Are you jealous or something?
He: Jealous of what?
She: By the way, I have good news. They chose me to travel to France to take a paid advanced course of system administration. Of course when I come back they will put me in a higher position.
He: Great! Am I going with you? It might be a good chance for us to have another honeymoon
She: That is not a picnic. It’s a business travel
He: oh, let me think of it
She: Think of what? It is my career. Do you want to stop my career?
He: Let us talk about it later. Come, get closer. Let us get it on. I missed you
She: Nnooww? I just came back from work tired and sleepy
He: So what. I am in your same situation. Do you want me to make you a cup of coffee?
She: Why don’t you treat me like a woman? Like a human. I am not a fridge that you can open it at any time to drink some cold water whenever you feel thirsty.
He: Fine, you tell me, whom am I gonna go to when I feel sexually thirsty? Aren’t you my wife?
She: You talk like a horney teenager. We are not young. You should be able to control yourself until it is the proper time. I am tired, tired. What do you expect me to say?
He: You mean I should control myself or masturbate like kids until you announce it is a proper time for you.
She: Well, when you married me, you married a career woman not a dumb house wife and you have to be understanding to my conditions
He: Was it my mistake that I married a bright professional career woman?
She: Honey, go take a cold shower and go to sleep. When you wake up you will forget it.
NEXT DAY
He went back home at mid-day
Maid: Ahlan ya sidi. Mosh be3ada ya3ni terga3 badri keda. Are you OK?
He: I am fine. I am so great. Enti ezzayek. Ana 3aref shoghl el beat keteer 3aliki
Maid: Abadan ya sidi. Ta3abkom ra7ah. Da akl 3eshi
He: Ta3ali bas erta7i showayya 3al kanaba ganbi
Maid: Ma3ool ya baih. Ma yesa77esh
He: Ta3li bass ta3aaalllliiiii (he pulls her)
Maid: La ya baih, ya lahwi, sebni ya baih. Ana mosh khaddama. Ana house keeper wa ma3aya bakaloryous.
He: Mana mo3gab beeki 3alashan keda (he hugs her and grab her boob)
Maid: yalahwi. Law meratak 3erfet 7a te2telna e7na letnean
He: Wa meen 7a y olaha bas? mahi mashghoola fe shoghlaha
Maid: La ya baih abadan. Da sharafi. Howana 3alashan mettala2ah?
He: Khoddi el 200 geneih doul eshtereelek fostan gedeed
Maid: La2 ya baih. Layomken ya baih. 3aib ya baih. Mosh keda ya baih. Ekhs 3alek ya baih. Ya we7esh ya baih.. ahhhhhh.
The system worked perfectly for He and She and the maid. Now everybody is happy.
Few months later...
He: We need to sit together. There is a problem that came up. We need to discuss it in a democratic civilized way like two professional people
She: Sure, I am always a professional woman. Whatzup
He: el khaddama 7amel
She: what? We7na malna?
He: elkhaddama 7amel menni
She: Yanhar abook esweed. Khaleft men el khaddama abl ma te khallef men meratak? Nemt ma3a khaddamti ya wati?
He: Ekhrasi. The maid gave me what you couldn’t give. The maid cared for me like a real wife. The maid was waiting for me to come home. The maid was beautifying for me. The maid never said she is tired. The maid always says that I am still young. The maid never bothered me with her shit work while she is with me in bed. Ya hanem… enti take2…tale2….tale2. I won’t even accept you as a second wife. You was a wrong choice from the beginning

Caught in the sauna

On the beach

The smartest woman on earth